Madness, unlike lightning, strikes thrice
Every year around this time, strange things start to happen at the Azarius HQ. Two years ago, we had to institutionalize our product manager when he suddenly invented crazy cannabis seed discounts and promotions.
We thought we were safe.
NOTE: This promotion has ended and any deals listed on this page no longer apply. Azarius has once again survived the insanity!
But last year, it suddenly struck again. We gave away hundreds of goodies. We thought we were safe.
Oh how wrong we were.
By now we're no strangers to goodiemania: a highly contagious disease which imprints the unstoppable urge to create 'goodies' and to slash prices.
We first suspected something was wrong when one of our pickers suddenly got the idea into his head that he was, in fact, a cranky monkey. Though he lost his appetite for magic mushrooms, he gained a great fondness for bananas.
...DO NOT DISTURB!
Shortly thereafter, we found people sleeping between our stock, hoarding herbs and seeds to make a 'nest'. When approached, these crazed individuals would display their teeth and growl. At night, especially during a full moon, their howls can be heard halfway across Amsterdam.
One of the symptoms of goodiemania is the strong desire to make goodie packs. This year, this resulted in some interesting cases where people literally tried to package themselves. These sad victims would slowly lose their humanity and become more and more like a gift box themselves. Should you receive an Azarius employee instead of a goodie bag, please return him to us.
How to combat goodiemania
Our years of experience has prepared us for this outbreak of mental instability. This is our contingency plan:
- Immediately move all seeds and goodies to a containment facility located deep underground behind a moat of angry sharks, hungry bees and cute but deadly puppy dogs with mounted lasers.
- Quarantine all personnel showing symptoms of Goodiemania in said facility, with plenty of goodiebags, stamps and - to appeal to their squirrel-like behaviour - acorns.
- Seal all access to the facility, except for one pneumatic tube for delivering stamped packages with goodies.
- Hope and pray the craziness blows over again before the afflicted run out of goodies (or for that matter, food, water and air)
Loco Loco deals
NOTE: This promotion has ended and any deals listed on this page no longer apply. Azarius has once again survived the insanity!
Despite the massive and quite possibly irreversible damage to our collective psyches, Azarius going completely loco has some advantages to you, our customer.
Check below for all current promotions. This page will be updated regularly between March and June 2014.
- Go for any Kannabia seed and you'll receive a free Karibeña promo seed.
- You get a Vision Seeds grinder card with every Vision Seeds order.
- Buy Sensi Seeds and you receive a Sensi Seeds magnet.
- Free DNA Genetics grinder with every DNA Genetics order.
- Buy any Fast & Furious seeds and you receive a F&F lighter, sticker and smoking paper with tips.
- Prefer a Strain Hunters seeds pack? Not only do you get the free Strain Hunters DVD, you also get a SH grinder.
- Show your GreenLabel love. Buy any seeds pack and you’ll receive a free GreenLabel keychain & lighter.
Disclaimer: All offers are valid while supplies last. If your goodie or promo deal is no longer available, we'll do our best to make a similar offer. Sometimes this may mean you receive a different goodie or strain than the one advertised on this page. Please blame this on our insanity.
