Lost Time

baa Last night was some experience, and one that I will soon not forget. Having previously used hallucinogens such as Acid, I thought I was prepared for what was going to happen. And although I had done thorough research and even read some peoples’ experiences, I still wound up grossly underestimating what would happen. I purchased Purple Sticky Salvia 40atomiX (A) from a shop out here. Since it was my first time, I didn’t want to kill myself so I made sure to get 10X (and didn’t want to get disappointed by getting 5x, considering I don’t do it that often.) I bought a water pipe and a decent lighter, then headed home to have my experience. My wife agreed to sit for me the first time. So I darkened the room, lit a candle, put on some nice music and even set up a moving mandala on my computer screen. I lit up the pipe so that it was as hot as it needed to be and I took a deep breath. I held it for as long as possible and let it out. As I prepared to take another toke, I soon realized that I was already feeling the effects, so I clumsily put the pipe down. My wife had left the room while I smoked because she didn’t want to get exposed to it. As I put the pipe down, I began to stare at my computer screen and suddenly the moving mandala made a great deal of sense. I was feeling very peaceful and meditative, and frankly wished my wife wouldn’t return because I didn’t want the peaceful moment to be interrupted. After a minute or so, she did come in, and began complaining about the smell of smoke in the air and such. Feeling relaxed and mentally drawn to my screen, I pointed my finger indicating that I wanted her to leave. After a while I tried to get back into the state but was unsuccessful. She returned and eventually the feeling faded away. After about an hour of just sitting and surfing/watching vids on the internet, etc. I decided to go back to sagewisdom.org and several other sites to find out how long I should wait before trying again. None of the sites were very specific on this information, but I did come across a posting which stated that one should take multiple hits and hold them as long as possible, taking advantage of all the smoke in a short period of time. So, now that it’s two in the AM, my wife was feeling tired, so as I packed another bowl I asked that if she wanted to leave she could. She headed off to bed, and I closed the door, turned off all the lights and began. I sat in a couch towards the back of this room and lit up the bowl as fiery red as possible. I took a LARGE toke, held it for a while, exhaled, then immediately took another, firing up the bowl as I did. What happened next can only be described by my wife, because I have absolutely no recollection of this event whatsoever. Hearing a loud crashing noise, my wife came from the room and into the office. There she found me sitting on the floor next to my telescope and a large computer monitor I had set down on the floor earlier that night. The telescope was pointing straight in the air, and both the lens cap and the end cap had been removed. The computer monitor was lying on its side up against the wall next to me. One of the telescope’s motors was nearly torn out. She picked me up off the floor, saying that my body was limp, though I was awake and my eyes were “glossed over.” As she dragged me back to my seat, she said I saw my son’s “Little tikes dual mic karaoke cassette recorder” on the floor and I picked it up, looking at it in “fascination.” I then dropped the toy on the floor as she sat me down in the chair. I almost immediately got up at that point, and walked up to the wood stained closet door, leaning up to it and stroking it with my hand, as if I’d never seen such a thing in my life. I turned and began gnarling my hands at the wrists, staring at them with great interest. Then I sat on my wife’s desk, the whole time drooling and looking at the room with total fascination. My wife says that it was as if I’d never seen doors or walls before, let alone all the other contraptions that are lying around in my office. Also she pointed out bruises that I had on my back. Upon inspection this morning, it turns out that I had actually wrapped my hand around my body and literally clawed at my own back, leaving these four red marks. If that wasn’t bizarre enough, what happened next I will never forget. I managed to sit myself back down in the chair. At this point I began to regain consciousness, but not in a good way. My wife says that I was shifting my eyes back and forth between her and my computer monitor. As I started coming to, I saw before me what looked like something that was literally “wiping away” reality. It was wiping from left to right and making a sound pshhht! Pshhht! This wiping eventually began turning into a vortex. Within this swirling vortex, centered around my computer monitor, and extending beyond my desk, I saw images of people, places, and things some of which I’ve never seen before. I saw myself sitting in a wooden chair with elaborate carvings, people opening a door and acting as if I shouldn’t be there, palm trees, images from my own life, like one from when I was in grade eight, and they were all twisting within this vortex. I kept getting the feeling as if I had been discovered, I wasn’t supposed to be there, and suddenly my life, my reality was being swallowed by the vortex. I felt myself peeling away, my very reality, my soul, past lives being pulled out like a dozen stacked traffic cones being pulled apart and disintegrated, it was the most disturbing thing I’d ever felt. I was men, women, children, all being sucked into the void. I literally felt as if my life had been part of someone else’s dream, and because that person was waking up I and everything around me was going to cease to exist. Being the most fearful moment in my entire life, I realized happily that my wife was there, and as everything continued to be swallowed away I reached over to her and said “I love you, babe.” She responded back in kind with worry in her voice. She asked me if I was OK, and it was at that point that I recalled something a wise soul mentioned to me a long time ago, “don’t let the high get on top of you; you get on top of the high.” I got up and stumbled over to the monitor, turning it off with my remote. The image of the swirling vortex began to fade away, but the sensation that my body was still twisting and slowly being torn apart still remained. My wife took me and helped me get out of the room, and we stumbled out onto my porch. She sat me outside, in the middle of the night, wearing nothing more than my boxers. It felt great. The cool, crisp air hitting my skin, the nagging sensation of the vortex as I perceived its location relative to me started to fade away. After collecting my wits, I walked back into the house and returned to the office. The commotion had woken my daughter and my wife returned with her a little while later. As I sat back down in the chair, I suddenly realized that my entire perception of reality had suddenly and chaotically been changed forever. As my wife explained to me what had happened I was beyond belief. My recollection is permanently fixed on taking the last toke, then seeing the vortex. Anything that happened between that time is completely gone from my memory. And I have a great memory! Two lessons are learned here. 1) Sitter is IMPORTANT!! 2) Do not underestimate the power of this drug!!! I learned a great lesson, and because of my experience will probably not do this again. But if you decide to take the journey, definitely heed the warnings and most of all, stay safe! I have two personal theories as to what happened, the first is physical, the other is metaphysical. 1) Physical – Somehow part of my brain was shut down and I was reduced to the mentality of a small child, during which time I was literally sleepwalking. 2) Metaphysical – My soul traversed time/space and while I was gone an alien spirit took over my body. It’s the only way I can explain the curiosity with both physical objects and (gnarling of the hands, drooling) my own physical being. Either way, what happened to me during that “Lost Time” was in no way related to me. Something else was in possession of my body, and perhaps I had done the same across the great expanse. Thank you for reading. I actually feel better now that my story has been told. ~John.