Deep respect

My first and only experience with Salvia dates about 8 years ago. Although I've used about 30 different kinds of psychoactive products before and afterwards - sometimes in very high doses - this one I won't easily forget. I used a hash-pipe to smoke the 10X extract in my home apartment. I can't remember the exact amount but I do remember myself thinking this little pinch of green herbs could not effect me too much. I thought I’d seen it all. The effects started instantly after inhaling the smoke and lasted about 15 minutes: All objects in my living room I‘m so familiar with appear completely new to me. The dining table, the glass of water on top of it, the carpet, the wallpaper, I just don’t recognize them. They don’t respond by giving me clues about our common history or what purpose they have in this place. I just don’t understand what all these things are doing around here. They’re completely strange to me. My initial surprise rapidly turns into fear. I feel lost having no recognizable things around me, nothing to cling to, nothing to explain. I start walking around visiting other rooms but this only makes things worse. I realise this alienation accounts for myself as well. Who am I and what place is this? Through the window I watch people passing by. What are they doing there? Where do they come from, where are they going to? Is there anything else outside my view? I realise that I’m all alone, there’s nothing I can understand and there’s no one I know. An overwhelming, almost paralyzing panic takes hold of me. Instinctively I drag myself to the only place I feel slightly attracted to: my bed. Here I sit down and wait. All I feel is fear and it does not seem to change. I don’t know of any beginning or end and the idea that this feeling will never change is almost unbearable. Then, suddenly, the mist starts to clear. There is someone I know! I have a mother that I am sure of! I don’t know what she looks like or where she is, but I know there’s someone else in this world I know of and who loves me. This discovery fills me with hope and I torture myself finding other clues about my mother. Within a minute all memories start to flow back, attaching myself again to the world as I know it. Salvia blew away my ego leaving nothing but fear. Up till now I haven’t had the guts to try it again.