It's Friday, which means it's almost time again for copious amounts of booze, netflix, happy pills and - if you're lucky - sleep. But before you irreparably damage your body and mind, here's something to keep you entertained while you wait for the weekend to commence.
The crossword puzzle below first appeared in the Azarius Magazine Edition #2. In an exclusive interview with the creator of the puzzle, the evil fiend had this to say:
"Making a crossword puzzle is hard. Really hard. Like you'd think it would be all fun and games, but as it turns out it was barely more fun than doing my income tax. So if you're wondering why there are so many rubbish words and the difficulty is all over the place, keep in mind that doing shrooms and creating crossword puzzles is NOT a good combination. At all."
Or download this ghastly puzzle as handy PDF file.
1 This stuff floats your boat
9 You don't want this growing in your garden…or do you?
12 Crapper, but a bit more classy
13 You'll take the high one, I'll take the low
14 A train shouldn't go off this (singular)
15 Ancient civilizations believed this fills up the heavens
18 Period in which shit happened
19 Science fiction
20 Word that indicates something strange, foreign and a bit alien-sounding too.
22 When an artificial intelligence has your skin between its teeth or isn't working properly (HINT: 2 words, a bit contrived. did we mention creating a crossword puzzle is more difficult than it looks?)
25 If at first you don't succeed, this advice will help. (HINT: not the same word as 17 down, we're not that lame)
29 Drugs to improve brain function
30 To make amends for, a single sound
31 Abbreviation for a class of neurotoxins in a type of snake.
32 Slang for agreement. ( <..>, this is indeed a filler word)
33 What you write on the beach in coconut shells, should you ever find yourself stranded in the middle of the Pacific ocean
34 Emotions Anonymous (also frequently voted the most evil company in gaming)
36 The first product we sold (in caps)
40 Abbreviation for expression of amazement on the internet, minus intercourse
41 A place of tranquillity (2 words)
44 Syrian rue, Yohimbe and Banisteriopsis caapi are all examples of a " …. "
46 Referring to a girl or woman
48 To one side; awry. A crossword puzzle word which you've never seen before and instantly forget about after seeing it. (Trust us folks, crosswords are fun to solve but a torture to create)
49 Folic acid
52 Reached your auditory organ through the grapevine.
54 When a watercraft made out of a single large capsule starts to tip
56 What you do to your inner beast every Friday night (you animal you!)
58 On behalf of the entire Azarius team we'd like to apologize for this one. It is not a word. Even Google couldn't make anything of it. We're deeply ashamed. You'll never guess it, it's essentially just a random string of letters to fill up the puzzle. (did we mention the difficulty in creating a proper puzzle?)
59 Genie that's getting older (2 words; the single most clever, cryptic clue in this entire puzzle)
61 Parental Guidance
62 A piece, usually ceramic, associated with burials
63 An extensive pustular eruption. Another one of those words you only ever see in crossword puzzles
66 Add it to Ling and you've got a Frodo.
67 When hot drinks tempt you all night, but you wake up alone in bed anyway.
69 Emergency Magical Lamp. Totally not a made up abbreviation.
70 Clearly expressing 'I don't think so'
71 The only boats that never sink :)
1 Chemist that rediscovered a well-known amphetamine
2 Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet, high on " … "
3 Head over heels
4 Doctor, abbreviated
5 Upper atmosphere (incidentally; if you're ever this high, please give us the name of your supplier)
6 South Africa
7 Rare moment in which your brain presents something useful
8 Widely popular all of a sudden
9 If you are the most brainy person in the room, you are the < … > (HINT: it's not 'shit' or 'bomb')
10 Person from fantasy fiction, known for looking rather dashing, likes long walks in the woods
11 An EZ-Test kit consists of what? (3 words, plural)
16 Opening in a room or building that usually has a sign hanging over it
17 If at first you don't succeed, you should probably…
21 Opposite of old. Keanu Reeves
23 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give one …. ' (HINT: very small amount)
24 Remove one letter from this game system and it's suddenly a boring object
25 When writing a letter or email and you remembered something important, but unrelated to what you were writing about, just as you're finishing the text. And you can't be arsed to rewrite, so you just add a " ... "
26 Dutch word for weird
27 Operating system with annoying capitalization
28 When a pig makes a sound in the winter, it should be called a "…." (hint: made up word. Sorry guys, crosswords are hard :( )
32 Year Date
37 What you call a computer someone urinated on
38 Half a laugh
39 You. You are this. And hopefully you think we're this too :)
41 Much enthusiasm and energy
42 Nothing, Senor
43 Abbreviation for armoured gorilla. "Oh no, there's an .. heading this way!"
45 Corrosive drug
47 Female crab (we totally admit to Googling this one, don't feel bad)
49 Flower power!
50 Outer space!
51 A woody, climbing plant typically found in tropical forests
53 Music genre wherein lots of songs promote the use of a certain green herb
55 Opposite of remove
57 To kill and/or inhale
59 When you took something bad, you'll need this -dote
60 Girl and denim clothing
61 Scripting language. 'Our programmer often speaks in fluent < … >'
64 Old Portuguese money of account, 'word' that is used to fill up a crossword puzzle
65 Derogatory term for what is (arguably) the coolest character in the Game of Thrones series.
68 Super Duper
You can find all the answers here.